What’s all the fuss about being unemployed? Does anyone really want to work unless they must? I’ve heard it described as the worst thing ever and a fate worse than death. My experience has been different. I’ve found it enjoyable and invigorating, although it has had one significant drawback. It’s destroyed my season.
If only there was a place to bike to...
A perfect storm of events led to my being laid off. I can’t say I was too disappointed. Don’t get me wrong. I look back very fondly and proudly at the time I spent with the company. It was a great place to work, I learned a lot, accomplished a lot, met some great people and had the opportunity to do a stretch in Italy, so, really, how bad could it have been?
That said, I looked at the layoff as an opportunity I probably wouldn’t get again. So I’ve made sure to enjoy the ensuing months. Sure we live in a society that defines you by what you do (Case in point, the other night I was at a party where someone simply couldn’t rest until they knew “what I did.” A response of “I spend time with my kids, I ride my bike, I search for a job, I’ve helped a friend launch a start-up, and I’ve done a little consulting here and there” didn’t resonate. “No, I mean, are you a product development guy, a finance guy, a lawyer?” Once I was neatly tucked into a category, the party could move forward.) And while it’s annoying, it just doesn’t bother me. I’m out of work because my company downsized and that’s that. It doesn’t really say anything about me or who I am or the work I did. So I’ve made the most of it, and I’ve really enjoyed it, except for the nagging issue that I’ve having a terrible season.
What constitutes a terrible season for a guy who likes the view from the back of the peloton is up for debate. All I know is I haven’t been able to find my form this year, and it has been a struggle to get up for races. It’s a bit of paradox really. One would think with nothing but time on my hands, I should be ripping it up. I have plenty of hours to ride – you can only job search for so many hours during the day. And yet, the opposite seems to be happening.
(c) Kate O'Kelley and Jim Joyce
Theories abound. I’m stressed out because I do need to find a job sooner than later, except I don’t feel any stress other than figuring out what my next post will be. I’m depressed because contrary to my bravado, I do define myself by what I do and what people think of me – I’ll let my wife handle that one, but it’s not that. In the end, I think it’s much simpler than that. I’m out of my normal routine, a routine I’ve had for the past ten years, and it’s got me completely out of whack.
I need routine, I crave routine and I don’t have it (that and a little sleep wouldn’t hurt). So I really am looking forward to landing my next gig having to go to the office every day. You can keep all that free time. Give me a long day at the office as part of my training any day.
That’s today’s view from the back.
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